a wandering place

in my mind-
there's a wandering place.
i follow behind;
i long to go in.

i could be lost & still follow-
after that wandering place.
or i could be whole
& still long to see in.

could swear

i heard your ghost after you'd gone.

i saw an echo i swore wasn't mine.

now i'd say these things to you—

but who can speak into time?

 

the night was dead & still i felt—

or knew the heat of your breath.

though even as i knew—

you were naught.

& i could swear you were there.

i could swear,

but you're naught.

never must

make it sell; make it sound
make the fiddle play for a pound
the music will drown for a while
while you're running far & away from

say it loud
so you know
no man could not
but sway against the sound

they all saw & all did naught
what you can take is not what you must
may is not will & you never must

a fall is a fall

granite lies & slippery ties
here nor there; a fall is a fall

trust runs out
& luck burns out
hearts don't break—
they just burn cold

all you know expires
time builds better liars

milestones make cheap stepping stones
like a high — you'll need
another, another to take you higher
go get sober — fight your fire
pouring out; the flames get higher

no way out but letting go
that's the lie you know

have-naughts

i haven't ever lived & haven't ever been.

i haven't ever roamed alone or stood so sole.

i wasn't there & wasn't where

you or i could salvage race or reigns

i tore away the cords in my soul

& knew now how i'd fallen fool

to playing rot.

i stole more than not

so i could see the big machine.

you're disappointed; so am i.

i woke up from the roles we bought.

you thought; we thought

rabbit holes & red, blue knots

like tied-up, twisted naughts.

a truth came clean—
from out of cracks unseen.
some ways can't be tread ways-back
lest may emerge some wiser fool.

channelling yeats

the dying took you slow
& the world followed too

as you passed within the flood
all you built went with your blood

i watched the pallor take your face
i watched you watch your own death race

i knew then, though you'd gone —
mine was more the loss no other could console