meet me on my knees

these pieces scattered here
are staying, lying here.
& though i've grown so tired -
the circling never stops.

pouring, pouring -
can't say where it goes from here.

i want more & i want less
and i want things too much.

i want him & i want air
and i'm still watching where
i've been before like
praying with the porcelain whore.

would you meet me on my knees
if i let on that's where that i've wound up?

coals & egg-white shells

i've done this before;
it's all i've done.
i'm done.

i won't fight a losing war.
i've lost so many battles
begging deaf ears to hear.
what was it all for?

i let time pass just like the texperts say.
i let go of feeling wronged; i let go of everything.

smothered toes are roaring now
when all along i've been careening...
'round coals & pearly-motivated egg-white shells.

i'm done; i won't hear you out.
that dirtiest word you know
morphs us into what we aren't.

i learned it through & through
i bled for proof of purchase.
i can't forget the way it tastes
or how you'll never spit it out.