into a rise

living & breathing never were the same thing.
people close their eyes & don't breathe,
but sunsets still give into a rise.

i stopped breathing some time ago
& these fumes are fading i know.
momentum is push warring on
& i've learned life pushes without
steering or drive - the only thing that must ever go on.

grief broke intention
& left nothing for reason.
not bearing cost never meant we were "free."

full circles

none are are ever ready
for things that haven't been.

most of words are worn & stale-
like tomes & speeches swallowed whole.
these cost behemoth tells & tolls.

i can't prepare, i can't pretend
to leave some love behind...
when so all along i've fought for leavings & for crumbs.

i've crawled & reached
& clung to holding on,
but i might must just finally let go
& trust that full circles can come.

selling out

i settled.
i broke.
i gave myself up unto a thing
i cannot take back.

i sold out my skeletons-
years ago.
now, outside sits mud-crusted boots-
worn from earning a cheap, smattered corpse.

one thing isn't another;
i sold myself out
when i could have been whole.

something then was lapsed

take my heart & lead me lost.

break my heart & burn it out.

it isn't whole.

i told you:

"take it far from here."

leave the place where you've been gone-

from all your blunders - i've been bleeding.

take me; i can't stand the naught.

break me like you broke me then.

i can't take in the cost

of debts i can't pay off.

what it bought it wouldn't keep.

i can't hold your empty hands.

you didn't claim your prize

& after all that way, I fell-

you should have told me lies.

it's all i begged you then.

the words that spilled were much too loud.

something then was lapsed.

won't knuckles

choking on the words
trailing after air.
if i let them from my mind
used wounds might mend.

words warn on loss,
but immobility taints too.
words not said twist
just like words not meant.

this is closing in on a climax
of silence & scars.
time always wrestles some cost
from the hardest of white, won't knuckles.

maybe loss can be gain
if whispers get out.

waiting

staving off some sound
& waiting for the raving.
i get scared,
but i get found.

a kind of peace
is in the spare of borrowed nights.

feeling wears
for things we swore-
like holding on & letting go.

chase

you're following me.
i'm running from you.
what makes this a chase is the rise of my heart.

you don't stop.
i can't breathe.
you're gone in the dark.

i can't see
& you don't stop.
the end is so dark.

the tears that you toll-
i never can call.