original sin

my father's pet demons ate him whole one day.
when nothing left of him remained -
his demons fed on me.

i let them use me up;
i let them fold me up.
i forgot - when you give everything -
there's never something left.

a beautiful mind

i wish you knew your mind
so i could know it too.
for so long now -
i've suspected your mind is a beautiful thing,
but you won't ever tell.

i wish you knew my mind
so you could understand
how i could do what i have done
without compromising a heart's regard for you.

it's just this way
& not another.
don't you wish with me -
that we could all be what we meant?

owning up to a testament

foolish hope & jaded wonder
are tangling up
like a compromised intent.

all i can hear
is all loud & at once.
my focus is rent & undone.

there are these things that i have to say,
but imparting is some kind of art.
so often - it all knots up & collects
brand, newborn wounds.

it's a not-knowing;
it's the investment.
it's an attempt at spitting out a testament
i'm so frightened to own
when martyrs & scapegoats are so much alike.

something let

time won't heal your wounds.
in time, you just lose feeling.

time will cauterize
& wrest the bleeding -
but time - it will not mend.

even in this waiting place -
a cost is wrestled from your bones.
the more fiercly you hold on -
the less you'll notice gone.

one day far away -
you will reach for what was let.

a monster becomes you

a reflection has morphed
& become a monster.
even an exterior
is starting to bruise & change color
so there's no secret, no concealer.

i dipped my toes in the mud
& the festering spread.
i kept away,
but a monster became me.

i thought a monster fed on me,
but i was building him.

alotted grief

i conjured some knowledge
from a foolhardy, clouded heart.
from the cost of consequence
came a tired caution.

a love i could not cut away
grew distant with acceptance.
alotted grief does
some burn out.

eventually -
something like clarity
does always settle in.
& if you will choose -
this letting go
can stop tasting like woe.