mangled intentions

i couldn't know which way to walk
so i walked any way.
i fled my indecision & my ignorance
down dark-fraught, foreign roads.

i bled from untried depths
& drank poison from strangers.
i lost & i wept over mangled intentions.
i betrayed some love
so i could lease my blood.

i broke promises.
i broke principles.
i brokered my body & soul.
but i know:
i bent long before i broke.

once everything had lapsed -
everything came clear.
then all i knew was awe.